No Smoking

One man's journey through the haze of butting out.

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Name: Dana Lee

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Three Weeks

It's about 1 in the morning on Tuesday morning, so I can say I've quit for three weeks.

But, jeezuz...I'd love a smoke right now. Drinking a few glasses of white wine as I clean up my email inbox, and just generally fart around on the computer. Wouldn't a smoke go good now? Ooooo, the lighting up, the sweet aroma of the second hand smoke...and the retching cough I'd have in the morning if I did. Shit.

There are seven (count 'em, seven!) packs of smokes in the freezer right now, all KK's. What would it take to sneak down and grab a pack and just have one, just one ciggie? I mean really...just one? What would it hurt, really?

I wrote that to demonstrate the insidiousness of smoking. Oh, before you think I've been having a laugh with all of you, truth is, yeah, I'd love to have a drag on a smoke right now, really. I mean, why not? I couldn't get hooked back on them really after three weeks...could I?

And this is how it goes. Even with Carr's methods of non-willpower, when you're drinking, it's bloody difficult to stay away from the things.

This is a serious pain in the ass, and Carr's method notwithstanding (which, by the way, is excellent and I do recommend getting his book) I have to admit that this isn't 100% easy. I'd love to write here that, hey, this is a walk in the park, no problem. But fact is, once in a very long while, it's a real challenge.

Maybe if I was a meek, subservient kind of a guy this would be easier. But the fact is, I don't have much guilt or that sort of thing in me - fer cryin' out loud, I'm a witch, and we're not big on the guilt thing. It's just not our style.

You know the biggest inhibitor to grabbing a smoke from the freezer right now? And this is so lame, really it is. The fact that I'd get shit from KK, who, despite being a smoker, is incredibly supportive of my wanting to quit. She'd be ragging me about bumming a smoke from her. And you want to know something?

She'd be right!



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